Hello & Goodbye

While short listing resumes for a general, administrative role I’ve come across some of the most hilarious applications. Oh boy, the things people do.

Spotted in resumes/cover letters:

• I have 2 younger brothers and was recently an aunt, I did a couple of babysitting my cousin while my aunt was away
• This letter is to express my interest in the position of Chief Operating Officer –> Applicant only had 2 years of experience and she wants to apply for a COO role =__= (please look at the job description and the job title again)
• SMS
  • Can contact through SMS?     : YES
• E-Mail Blasting e.g. Co. Details, Marketing Information, News Letter, Survey, Etc.
  • Can E-mail to candidate?        : YES
• Married to ABC
• No. of children        :        3

1) Soto Ayam*        D.O.B XXX-2001

2) Mee Goreng*      D.O.B XXX-2004

3) Nasi Lemak*      D.O.B       XXX-2008 

No-no things:   

• Not attaching the CV
• Sending multiple emails for the same job
• 12 pages long resume
• Attaching 1000 testimonials from ex-employers
• Using so many colours in the resume
• Listing out every damn subjects’ grades
• Sending a resume titled XXX_(another company’s name)
• Emails like pufferfishxxx@hotmail.com*, XXX.baybee@hotmail.com*
• Emails from tinkerbell, xxx star
• Photos like the following:

Self-Taken

Cropped 

Huge-ass sized

I do want to help these people, but it is really beyond me to hire  tinkerbell or someone who thinks her skills as a babysitter will qualify her as an executive. I do feel a little bad for these people, though these are really in the minority. The men seems to be better at resume writing though, most of the above are picked from females’ resumes.

One thing  is alot of  people do not even read the job description properly and obviously lacked the experience and skills we were looking for but went ahead to apply anyway. Wasted some time going through people who were just “trying their luck”. Geez…

* Names changed to protect identity

The problem with holding meetings in the morning is that you have to endure coffee-smelling breath, smelly morning-breath and whats-not. I hope the mint sweets I ate helped in curbing my own morning breath. I sure would have loved to offer my meeting attendee one =P

I belong to the kind of girls who doesn’t like and doesn’t want to receive flowers. I’ve made it very clear to the BF and the colleagues that I want no flowers for my birthday or for any other special occasions for that matter. For, one, I really don’t know what to do with them. I dislike the idea of lugging carrying the bouquet around so that everyone else can bask in its morning glory, really because I feel really rather embarrassed and it does seem somewhat of a showoff to be doing that. The few times I did receive flowers from my unknowing colleagues, I stuffed the bouquets in huge paper bags to hide it from peering eyes.   

Another reason is really cause I don’t know what to do with them after they wilt and die. Letting them hang to dry is an option but did you know you can’t do that to all flowers and it actually causes quite a stinker in the drying process. Plus, the sight of the flowers losing its vibrancy and slowly disintegrating is kind of depressing and sad. 

The joy in receiving nicely wrapped flowers (my gawd, some of the bouquets that people are showing off are so hideous. I have received really, and I mean really sophisticated and expensive flowers and really tastefully done) is but short-lived.

 Some girls like receiving flowers but some don’t. I happen to belong to the latter group. Why do some like to associate girls who don’t like flowers to be materialistic. I beg to differ, I like to think myself as practical. A sensible girl

The s.e.x.u.a.l harasser from work is on the prowl again. Remember how there was a lull period when I put on some weight and cut my hair real short and right after he made the comment that “I was not pretty anymore”. With a slight weight loss and longer hair, he is back. I have used up almost all excuses to reject his advances lunch appointments. I don’t wish to offend him but I am truly fearful of spending 2 hours with him ALONE. I, for the life of me, will definitely not have the courage to stop him from touching me – my elbows, my arms, my back, my head… places that may not seem too offensive but somehow his touch sends chills and creeps down my spine.  

 He has also started calling me sweetie and I get goose bumps each time he calls me that. I cannot stand it but is at my wits end thinking of how I can politely tell him that not to. Anyway, I think it is a little too late for me – it has become a bad habit for him.

I don’t suppose since Obama has to apologize, he should too? Or should I go to the extreme to sue him?

Tsk, tsk, tsk… We do have a long way to go to becoming a gracious society.

 No one, read: ABSOLUTELY, no one gave up their seats for me. No… not cause I’m preggie or look preggie but cause of the bandaged and limping leg (due to a sprained foot sustained from Friday’s clubbing – more on that later). They stared, they looked at my poor injured foot and then pretended to look away.

Damn you, non-gracious men on the bus and train.

Argh…

(pardon the crappy drawing!)

Keep your bags to yourself! Argh!

(pardon the crappy drawing!)

I hate it when ugly guys do this to me! Argh!!

The sucky thing is.. when you anticipate and you dress up (well, nicer than usual at least) for a meet up and then you get pang-seh at the last minute. You look forward to a nice meal, getting things done and… zilch – you end up home watching vcds.

I had a friend who use to do this to me/us (you know who I am talking about) and give lame excuses on why said-person is backing out on our date that eventually I got really afraid of organising outings with said-person because I hate it when said-person lies to me (or so I have a feeling said-person is) and it gets worse when said-person is attached. And so.. eventually we stopped going out. It is sad really, but who needs an unreliable friend?

And so it happened today. Maybe it was a meet-up doomed from the start with half-hearted responses and lack of participants. The final blow.

Darn!